#329 - Report - 24/09/06 - Bill Bottomly, Roger Corbett, Cameron Corbett, Stuart Hill,

Since when did we start running two shifts on the bike hash? My understanding of the format was that we met around nine forty-five, set off at ten, returning around midday? After last Sundays ride that does not seem to be the case any more (no fault of the hares I should add). There were people at the start who were not there at the end! There were people at the end who were not at the start! There were even some people who were not there at the start or the end! Where did they all come from? Where did they all go? What does it all mean? It certainly all started off well. An exceptionally large pack (always nice to see) had turned up to see what the ‘League of English Gentleman’ had to offer this time? …. and they were not disappointed. We were soon offroad on some very nice single track. There has always been one very positive side from the governments forced evacuation program from the kampongs of old to the HDB heartlands and that is that there are some excellent trails left behind in what once was kampong areas. The remnants of tarmac roads devoid of other traffic make for excellent cycling. The hares had recced well and found some excellent trail in what has been a traditional bike hash area of old but like the Incredible Shrinking Man is getting smaller by the day. The multiple cavorted loops around the canal until we literally disappeared up our own backside (…and you thought I was going to say ars*hole, didn’t you?) proved entertaining – especially if you were at the front! The drain under the expressway proved particularly challenging for some – there are some excellent photos of Nose Wipe (available on the web) who has a look of total shock and horror, not to mention distain, on her face at the prospect of having to go down into the drain (good job she was not on the ‘Rides with Rats’ ride? – that would have put something on her face and far more substantial than shock I can say!).

It was the drain and the subsequent crossing of the slip road that proved the turning point for Ride 329, for it was from this point that it all started to go wrong, if not for the hares then certainly for twenty or so riders who decided that a Sunday morning Bike Hash was not enough exercise and that they should also add in most of October 6th LCH3 (that’s a running hash by the way) upcoming ‘Sh*t Family’ run. Now quite why the Sh*t Family would be out laying paper in the monsoon season for a run which is coming up in two weeks does defy all belief, however it did not defy our bashers efforts to try and ride their bikes down trails which were definitely not made for bike riding! The Sh*t Family recce team ably led by the King of all Sh*ts “Running Sh*t” was later heard to be boasting that this was one of the best running hashes of the year in virgin rainforest and an event not to be missed! That certainly was not the sentiment of the bike hashers who dragged themselves into the circle, well actually the place where the circle had been as we had all gone home by then, at 1.15pm! Covered in sh*t (in true Sh*t Family tradition of course), dehydrated, out of water and miles from home - they were exhausted. Their one and only experience of being on a running hash looking like it would to be their last? In fact based on Sundays performance the SBH committee are now considering having a sign out/sign in sheet? Certainly the pack was not the same size at the end of the ride as it was at the beginning? – but not of the hares fault or making. In fact the compliments have been rolling in so to speak, definitely a contender for Ride of the Year. It was a good turn out by the virgins, so welcome Agnes, Dorothy, Inga, Peter, Richard, Ryan and Tozzi. Hope to see you all back on the 15th? Certainly an impression was made by someone. Dorothy has already joined up as a member – what a day? First ever bike hash, join up as a member, get lost in the jungle, get a beer for your trouble when all you wanted was water! Inga was so excited that she even removed her basket from her HVSB (no that’s not some new banking group – Holland Village Shopping Bike), the Boys in Black (or BIBs as we prefer to call them) came to the conclusion that cycling round in the tropics in black shirts at midday is probably not one of their better decisions - all part of a days work.

The On On was at a local coffee shop where an excellent spread awaited the thirty or so hashers who had supported the hares (good to see that On On’s are back to their former glory and numbers, what ever next? we may even have singing?). Thank you hares – another spoke in the cycle of life. See you all on the 15th for something new and something special???

On On

Barbarian

Grand Master