#334 - Report - 17/12/06 - Xmas Ride -Machine, G String

Either the hares were too wily or the front riders too blind but when the pack blew through the T - Check at the end of Adam Drive, half way into the ride, this hash was reduced to a shambles and any chance of ride 334 winning ‘Ride of the Year’ totally destroyed. To be honest it did not bode well, when, at 09.55 the heavens opened up and the rains lashed down. The Grand Master’s call to circle was drowned out by the noise of the rain, which was probably the moment that he mentioned “Look out for the Back Checks”. As his warning went unheard and unheeded the pack roared off down Gymkhana Avenue and into the back of the horse riding school where, the simple task of following paper took on a whole new dimension. What had not changed though was the hashers ability to ride round and round in a circle, totally off paper and pathetically calling “Are You?” in the hope that the trail might mysteriously jump out in front of them!

Finally, with help from the sweep it was off into the back of Bukit Brown Cemetery, where again the packs inability to look for paper or more correctly see paper saw them riding round and round in a circle to the point where they were just about to disappear up their own backside. Luckily the hares appeared just in the nick of time to prevent an Anal Intrusion and pointed the pack in the right direction. Crossing over Lornie Road the pack used the back passage to get into Adam Drive……and the rest is history so they say – certainly the hash was, that’s for sure!!! There was never going to be a recovery from here as the pack descended from tarmac to gravel trail, to mud trail, to single track, to walking track, to ‘carrying your bike on your shoulder for 40 minutes’ track, to ‘where the f*ck do we go from here’ track! It was only the constant drone of the traffic on the PIE which prevented a total disaster and a mass loss of hashers, as finally – like a moth to a candle - they pushed their way out of the jungle onto the hard shoulder of the expressway. It was here that the hash experienced another first – the mass and spontaneous puncturing of tyres. First one, then another and another, and another …..until we had a record six or seven bikes all upside down getting repaired – but the unexplained mass puncturing was not over yet! Some people had two, three and even up to four punctures! Some people’s tyres were going down faster than they could change the tubes! Some people just gave up and went home in a taxi!

The hash was doomed as the disjointed and segregated pack made their way home on the road – any which way can.

he incessant rain kept up its pace, even increased in its ferocity, as the pack prepared for the circle. Luckily the hares had foreseen these adverse weather conditions and put up tents for the hash to shelter by.

The circle is as much an important part of any hash as is the run/ride and thus it was on 334 with the highlight of the day being the Singapore Bike Hash 'Hash Awards' 2006. After a comprehensive polling of the members (....and no we didn't have an SMS option for the public) we were able to reward the voting categories. In addition the hash also recognised those hashers who have gone out of their way to ensure that the SBH3 is a successful, fun group, worthy to ride with and fun to be with. We would like to publicly thank the following:

- Hash Brew - Roger

- Hash Cash - No Good

- Hash Flash - Ned Hash

- Webmaster - Froggy

- Best Support for Virgin Hares – Ned (A Special Recognition Award)

- Duty Above & Beyond the Call of Duty – TI Joe (A Special Recognition Award)

The Hash awards for 2006 went to:

- Best New Hasher – Jan ‘Nose Whip’ Cheng

- Best On On - Equal First Place between:

- Ride 322 Valentino's. Hared by Roger Corbett, Cameron Corbett, Stuart Hill, Bill Bottomley,

- Ride 330 Neo’s Mum’s. Hared by Copycat, Goes Both Ways, Grant McNay, Mat McNay,

- Best Hash - Ride 330 Plentong. Hared by Copycat, Goes Both Ways, Grant McNay, Mat McNay,

- King of the Hares 2006 - TI Joe (four rides and two assists)

An excellent day out and a fine finish to another great year of bike hashing. 2007 is already shaping up to be another good year with some excellent rides already planned. Don't forget to renew your membership to enjoy the best value package in town!

Look forward to riding with you all in 2007 On On to the 21st January and the Sauerkraut’s Special Ride.

Barbarian

Grand Master

Singapore Bike Hash